Saturday, December 29, 2012

13 months of shots

Our boy has been taking shots of Genotropin for over a year. He grew 7 and a half inches in that year. He went from the 2nd percentile in height to the 83rd. That's what the genotropin was for. I can't argue that the drug did its work better than advertised. The doctors have all said that they have never had a patient that grew that much that fast. Our focus the past 6 months or so has been the development of the boy. He has grown, but his development hasn't kept pace. He is 5 and he still isn't fully potty trained. He wears a pull up at night. No big deal, but it is just a sample of how the boy may lagging in his development. He is a bright, angelic boy. Every parent would say that, and they would all be right. The boy is special and I want him to have a full, healthy life. I wanted him to grow. The genotropin did that. Now we see the Autistic symptoms and I wonder if we were selfish. Did my selfishness cause my boys challenges? It feels like they did. I feel guilty for his condition. Remember this boy coded twice after his birth and he has an abnormal MRI of his brain, but growing at a crazy fast rate had to have contributed to his Autism diagnosis, right? I'll never really know, and it doesn't really matter. We are here now and we must go forward. I took my son and his sister to the park today. He is five and his sister is seven. She will be eight in February. They played on the slide, ran, and climbed. They both had a blast. My son was going head first down the slide. He was climbing the steps without pause. He has taken Physical Therapy for months and it is obviously helping. He is much stronger. He is still very, very skinny. He was a "normal" kid on the playground. That is the first time I have felt that. He has always been behind the other kids his age but he didn't seem that way today. His sister is in gymnastics. She doesn't have any of the challenges my son has. He kept pace with her just fine. That made me feel optimistic. When we finished at the park we went to our favorite fast food place and I bought a 20 piece chicken nugget pack for the kids to share. They blew through the chicken. My son must have polished off 7 nuggets. I realize it isn't the healthiest of dinners, but that boy simply doesn't eat. He did tonight. He is starting to develop a very healthy appetite. If he can fill out and keep working at school maybe, just maybe, his challenges will be met and defeated before too long. I love my son. I feel guilty about having put him through that crazy growth spurt he went through last year. I want him to be all he wants to be. He is already my role model. I truly hope we can work around and through the autism diagnosis. We are fortunate to have an awesome collection of teachers looking after our son. They sincerely care for him. They love him. When we went to his winter program at school my son was crying because he didn't want to go back to school. His teacher had a tear in her eye. She stated that when he cries she gets very upset to. She said this as she wiped the tear from her eye, and handed my son a piece of candy. His other teachers love him, too. The new year is approaching and I know there will be more challenges for my son and his family. I'm positive that we can make it through them. I've stated this before in this little blog, but this boy reminds me of my Mom. Mom died in October of the year my son was born. I know she made a cosmic deal. I will do all I can to make sure our boy has the full life she would want him to have. I love my son and I miss my Mom. I'll hang my close on this line....................